February 2008

February 19

February 19, 2008

Some things Bronwyn did today:
 
Escaped Bruce to climb upstairs because she just had to find “mommy”.  I awoke to a childish yet extremely sincere “HI” right next to my ear.
 
Spent the car ride to church swaddling and reswaddling Holly’s (only) teddy bear- couldn’t use one of hers!
 
Made a trumpet and marched around the city of Jericho (the sanctuary) 3.5 times.
 
Stole a letter I was addressing, ripped it open and removed the letter, picture, and all the stamps.
 
Coloured all over her belly, thighs and winter boots with a blue pen.
 
While I was on my stomach playing “tummy time” with Holly, she lifted my shirt and gave me a back scratch.
 
Removed all of Holly’s clothes that she has outgrown from the box I had JUST placed them in.
 
Took her blanket and pillow and made a “bed” in the living room where she pretended to nap with her dolls.
 
Made the correct signs for “book”, “bed” and “cup”.
 
When asked which book she wanted to read, brought her arm up next to her face to make the sound and sign of an elephant, then brought me the book with the elephant on the cover (“How Big Are You?”).
 
Brought me the tub of diaper cream, pointed to her bottom and said “bum”.
 
Found Connect Four where I had hidden it under my bed, and insisted on playing it while I got ready this morning.  And by play I mean dropping the pieces very carefully into the slots then bringing it to me to dump out.
 
Pointed to the pitcher of water on the table and said “wawa” (first time).
 
When I took out an apple to cut up to give her for lunch, she shook her head hard and said “nanananana” (banana).
 
 Tried to eat a candle.
 
 Dunked Holly’s last disposable diaper into the pail of water I keep next to her bed for washing her bum (instead of wipes).
 
 Just erased the last three lines!
February 13

Watch out I use the word “pee” a lot.

When Bruce and I arrived home today, we were greeted by Bronwyn and her babysitter about to have a dip in the hot tub.  Not having anything better to do, we climbed in (fully clothed) to relieve Diane of her duties. 
“Say goodbye Bronwyn” I called out. 
“Thanks, Diane” Bronwyn carefully enunciated. 
 
Bruce and I were speechless.  Bronwyn apparently wasn’t!  We looked at each other in amazement.
“Say it again, sweetie” I instructed.
“Thhhanksss, Dian-NEH” Bronwyn obliged with even more emphasis.
“When did she learn this?” I ask, but Diane is already out the door calling instructions about Holly needing to be fed.
 
“We should celebrate” I declare to Bruce as I start to seductively unbutton his shirt.  Suddenly I jump out of the water!  “What is that noise?” I cry, running down the hallway, completely oblivious to the fact that I am dripping water all over our plush beige carpets.  I reach the entrance to the bathroom (didn’t I just come from there?) and I see Bronwyn and Holly sitting together on the floor.  But as soon as Bronwyn sees me, she drops Holly and makes a break for it.  I don’t have time to go chase her and I look down at the carpet to where Bronwyn had evidently dragged poor Holly several feet with what looked like various stops to attempt to pick her up. 
 
This is when Bronwyn reappears with her diaper in her hand and starts to pee!  Right on Holly!!  I swoop her up and land her on the toilet, trying to praise and admonish at the same time:
“Yeah for Bronwyn!  Let’s put our pee in the potty!
“We don’t pee on Holly, Bronwyn, she doesn’t like it.
“What a good girl for peeing in the toilet!!”
 
For peeing she was.  Great gushing streams of it.  Into the toilet!!!  I have to blog about this I think to myself. 
 
 
Then I woke up.  How much of that was a dream I start thinking in a groggy just-woke-up sort of logical way?  Apparently all of it.  Too bad…
 
 
February 02

I’d rather be ignorant

I have received admonitions in the past for my failure to keep up with the news.  I should be more informed about the world I live in.  Perhaps.  Today I listened to the tv while painstakingly glueing teeny-tiny buttons onto what will one day be the most creative thing I have ever done.  Period.  More about my adventures in scrapbooking another time though.  The headlining stories today involved two toddlers that froze to death after being brought outside by their father who had been drinking heavily.  He survived but was hospitalized for severe frostbite.  The second item involved an update on an Ohio fire where four children died of smoke inhalation while their mother allegedly suffered stab wounds before the fire started.  The husband is trying to claim that the woman started the fire on purpose.
 
Before conceiving, carrying and delivering two children of my own, these sorts of news story would have been sad, of course, but that would have been it.  Now I find myself glued to the set, unable to stop watching, yet at the same time knowing I will not sleep tonight.  Knowing that the longer I watch, the longer it will take for me to organize my feelings while I try desperately to fall asleep and at the same time hoping I never will.  I find myself imagining all sorts of horrible things that could happen to the girls, or to me, or to all of us.  I feel horribly sad for those poor children, left out in the cold.  Probably trying to open the door to their house, but being unable to because they are only one and three.  Crying for their father, the man who is supposed to protect them, while he lays face-down in the snow, unconscious from too much alcohol.  It is unfair that innocent children are suffering because the grown-ups who are supposed to love them, don’t. 
 
But aside from all of that.  How did I become the sort of person who cares so much?  Does anyone remember that commercial they aired a while ago with the baby crying in her crib all alone.  The message was that her mommy wouldn’t be coming in to pick her up because she had just been killed by a drunk driver.  I cried every time I saw it.  I cry every time I think about it now.  I am, in fact, typing this through a waterfall of tears shed for an actor-baby whose real mother is actually behind the cameras watching the commercial being filmed.  At first I blamed it on the hormones.  But I think that it has gone beyond that.  Could it be, that through the process of motherhood, I have simply become an empathetic individual? 
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