Easter on hold for a little rant

14 Apr

I know full well that there are only 2 people here that are responsible for the number of children I have.  I also know that none of them work at the library; however, that didn’t stop my overwhelming feelings of frustration from spilling over today. 

It started when Bruce asked me to pick up dog food after Bible Study today.  “No problem” I said, although what I thought was more like: no problem.  I simply adore dragging 2 toddlers through Walmart during lunch/naptime to run an errand you forgot to do and then couldn’t accomplish because you forgot it was a holiday and nothing would be open, and instead of thinking ahead and buying more when you started to run out, you figured that you could always just send your hugely pregnant wife to pick up a 40 lbs bag of dog food from the most annoying store on the face of the planet- you know, for the slow old people who stand in your way, and the cashiers who manage to break their till right before you get there

But, like I said, that isn’t what I said.  It isn’t even what I thought at the time.  The internal rantings only started halfway through the shopping trip.  After I had made 3 (unsuccessful) trips to the bathroom, a cup of iced tea spilled on my brand new leather shoes, and both kids were wailing in the cart, my internal dialogue started up and I couldn’t shut it off. 

So, when we finally picked up the car (oh, didn’t I mention that when Bruce realized I would be going to get dog food at Walmart, he suggested I get the oil in the car changed too because toddlers LOVE errands that involve going to places where they can’t touch anything and must stay in one place).  The girls were miserable and I was ready to pull my hair out.  We just needed to get to the other side of the store before we were home free.  Of course, this is when the old people come out in earnest, and stand 3 abreast talking in the aisles, or running blindly out of side aisles so you have to swerve to avoid a collision (dropping the 40 lbs bag of dog food off the bottom of the cart AGAIN), or just cutting you off when you clearly have the right of way.  AND, even if I didn’t, well, frankly there are more of me.  And I am bigger.  And in some parts of the world this trumps Right of Way.  So stand aside because I am COMING DOWN THIS AISLE WHETHER YOU ARE HERE OR NOT.

Ahem, so like I was saying, after we got away with only a few scrapes and I turned a blind eye to the carnage I left in my wake, we headed to the library.  Not because I wanted to, of course.  But I had to return a DVD that, incidentally, we didn’t even get to watch because the library has such a short take-out duration for media items that I wonder why we even bother. 

I run up the stairs and drop the movie on the counter, and was just whipping around to run back out again when a librarian coughed and said, “excuse me, but those are supposed to be returned to the Children’t Department”.  Was she JOKING?!?!?  I turned around slowly and fixed her with my most evil eye and then turned on my heel and left.  For those of you who weren’t actually AT the library, the translation reads something like this:

EXCUSE me?  Did you just ask an obviously uncomfortable, 8-months pregnant woman who is clearly in a hurry, and who has left her 2 sleeping toddlers IN THE CAR (the car that is parked illegally in your driveway because there is not a parking spot to be had in all of downtown) to return a movie THAT SHE NEVER EVEN GOT TO SEE to an area of the library 3 flights of stairs away from where she is standing now when she knows perfectly well that you yourself will probably be going that way in the near future, and the only reason she even had to come into the building at all is because you are too lazy to fetch it from the dropbox situated outside the library (that has a clear view of both the kids in the car and any parking ticket Nazis that may be canvassing the building that you force me to pay $40 a year just to have the privilege of being in) but of which you lock during the day to prevent vandals like myself from harming the precious DVD’s you lend to CHILDREN.  Did I mention the last one I borrowed had PEANUT BUTTER all over it?!?!?!?!

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7 Responses to “Easter on hold for a little rant”

  1. Erin April 15, 2009 at 1:19 am #

    Oh Julie
    Crappy days suck! I hope that tomorrow is better!
    I love you and I think you are completely justified in your actions…people at walmart drive me nuts too! Just ram’em I say!
    And I would have done the same thing at the library…is she for real?!
    You are wonderful!
    Erin

  2. Amanda April 15, 2009 at 2:22 am #

    LOL, it’s not just me who has those conversations. Thank goodness!
    Of course that’s what happened at the library I would expect no less. 🙂

  3. Katrina April 15, 2009 at 2:22 am #

    Oh my. That’s all I can say. Oh my.

    I’m just thankful you didn’t seriously hurt someone. (I guess I can say that too)

    I posted a link to your blog on my blog. Hope that’s ok. If not, just send me a note and I’ll take’er down.

    Hope tomorrow is better… I miss seeing your pretty little face (and those pretty little daughters/future daughter-in-law – whichever one it may be…) around here. But if that’s what happens when you go to wal-mart, please don’t try coming to Sudbury right now. :o|

    God Bless you!

  4. Katrina April 15, 2009 at 2:22 am #

    For the record, that’s not the emoticon I was trying to make.

  5. Aunty Gussy April 15, 2009 at 6:49 pm #

    I love hearing your rants. When I think I’m having a bad day, I will think of this blog and forever remember that I am not a parent…yet.

  6. Elaine April 16, 2009 at 1:49 pm #

    another fine example of why I never go anywhere, ever. And why I have learned to simply say “no” when my husband asks me to do ANYTHING that involves more work or taking a toddler anywhere during lunch/naptime.

    When will you learn? 😉

  7. Mom April 16, 2009 at 1:54 pm #

    When are you going to start writing a humourous parenting column for your local newspaper? You know it would be syndicated in no time. You could get to be rich and famous – the next Erma Bombeck. You think I’m kidding, but I’m serious!

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